01 november 2012

Difficult to see the woods for the trees

Being lost is a pretty interesting experience. First of all, getting lost is quite difficult. It doesn't seem that way if you watch or read the news, especially during winter or mushroom picking season. But I mean lost as in really m****r f*****g lost in the middle of absolutely nowhere, without phones, roads, houses or electrical/phone lines in sight. As in stranded, although we did have food. Gave the map to the wrong person for half an hour, and well... there you go. What was I saying? Oh, that it is virtually impossible to get lost.

If you know approximately which part of the world you're in (and when wouldn't you? Let's assume for argument's sake that you weren't just dropped from the sky by a mysterious spaceship), and you have a map and a compass, it is actually almost impossible (let's also assume that you didn't get your compass from Cap'n Jack, in which case I suppose it wouldn't matter if you didn't know where you were, cause it would be exactly where you wanted to be anyway). Just for the hell of it, let's even skip the map and say that your compass doesn't point north (rather, isn't properly adjusted to the map you might have). Unless it is going completely bonkers, it will point in some direction.

What I'm trying to say is that the only thing you need is a direction, any direction, and then make sure you follow as straight a line as possible. Stop, check your direction, take aim at a tree/rock/whatever semi-non-mobile object you can see, and walk up to it. Repeating this will ensure you don't do what all those people who get lost for days do. It is a well known fact that if people are left to their own devices, they will for the most part walk in circles. That'll get you nowhere, I can assure you. Even walking in a semi-straight line will get you somewhere faster than walking in a circle will.

If only navigating through life in general was that easy... we should all carry a compass. Scout's honor. Oh, and I guess I would be a decent person to get lost in the woods with. I also know exactly how easy it is to get lost in the woods without said compass, cause let's face it - it's all stones, trees and moss with the occasional collection of water, especially if you're wandering around staring at blueberries (yup, been there done that, too). Compass ftw. The government should hand them out en mass, teach people to keep tea candles, blankets and matches in their cars, and prepare further than bringing a plastic bag to a random forest they've never been in before in their lives.

And yes, 45 minutes of semi-straight line walking later, we found a road. With an electrical line leading to a house. Another half hour of dinner making later, a nice man came by in a car with his dog and told us exactly where we were. And even if he hadn't (lucky shot, I wouldn't count on it if I were you), the funny thing about roads is that they normally lead somewhere. And the funny thing about cables is that they more often than not lead to something man made like houses or bigger roads. You see where I'm going with this, I hope. If not, just keep out of places with lots of trees. Especially out of woods as big and unexplored as the ones we got stuck in.

Once a scout, always a scout. Never a scout, well, never a scout. Mind the trees.

Inga kommentarer:

Skicka en kommentar